I'll be okay where I'm going
by OliviaBethany
Summary: "H...Haruhi..." Tamaki's eyes glistened, wide, desperate. He held tight to Haruhi's hand, hoping that somehow, he could pull her back to him, make her stay. But she was slipping away. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Haruhi was fading away from this reality.
1. Chapter 1

"H...Haruhi..." Tamaki's eyes glistened, wide, desperate. He held tight to Haruhi's hand, hoping that somehow, he could pull her back to him, make her stay. But she was slipping away. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Haruhi was fading away from this reality. She looked up at Tamaki weakly, and somehow, found the strength to give her best shot at a small smile. "...Senpai, don't look at me like that. You look like a sad puppy." She joked. But Tamaki hiccuped, his head jerking downwards, eyes hidden by his bangs. "Don't go..." He whispered, gripping her hand now with both of his. He felt the coldness of her icy hand on his face, and looked up at her. Her smile was still there, and it broke his heart even more, if that was even possible. She shook her head slightly, and he could see her own eyes glisten now. "I'm sorry. I made you worry for so long. But it's okay now. You don't..." She paused, catching her breath, as it was diminishing, "You don't have to worry anymore. I'll be okay... where I'm going." The tears building up in her eyes spilled, but her smile stayed. Tamaki's own tears overflowed, and he touched her hand that was rested on his face. He held it there, his lip quivered, and he shook, trying to hold back his sobs. "I love you, Haruhi." He said shakily. He didn't care anymore what anyone thought. At least... at least she would finally know how he felt. Her eyes closed.

"...Love you too, Senpai."

The soft beeps that had been slowing in the background turned to one long, drug out beep, that seemed to get louder and ring in Tamaki's ears. He felt Haruhi's hand go limp, and it slipped away from his face when he moved his hand. His lips were parted slightly, and tears blurred his vision. He felt that feeling take complete hold on him at last-one that had been trying, and finally succeeded. He felt as if the air had been knocked out of him, as if his chest was being strangled, a huge lump rising in his throat. Reality sunk in and his whole form shook, loud sobs breaking loose, tearing up his throat and out, Haruhi's name along with them. He slumped over onto the hospital bed, head buried in his arms, his back quaking as he cried.

So long. For so long he knew something was wrong. He had always known something was wrong... and he hated himself with a burning passion for ignoring it and pretending everything was okay, just like he always did. You're such an idiot, Tamaki. You're such a hopeless moron. He insulted himself, but stopped after a while, seeing as that would do absolutely nothing. The pain that was tearing him in two felt never ending. And the longer he sat there, the more he felt like just following Haruhi to where ever she would be now...

But soon, his moments of complete oblivion to the world around him ended. He felt hands gripping his shoulders, pulling him up off his knees from Haruhi's bedside. The owner of those hands dragged him out of the room, and he didn't recognize who it was until they were out in the hallway.

Kyouya looked Tamaki in the eyes. For a while, he only stared. He saw how broken up Tamaki was... a predictable response from him to such a situation.

But he didn't give a damn about predictability right now.

Without another word, Kyouya pulled Tamaki into his arms, embracing him in the most comforting way he'd ever touched anyone. He felt Tamaki's arm wrap around him, hands gripping the back of his shirt, his face sink into his shoulder. He felt as Tamaki shook. Soon enough, Kyouya's eyes watered, and his facial expression finally broke from it's stone facade. He closed his eyes, just holding his friend. He knew that Tamaki needed this comfort now more than ever... and as much as he hated to admit it to himself, he needed it to. Haruhi... was someone the entire Host Club had come to hold dear. For what reason, he could never figure out... She was just a girl. A poor honor student who was indebted to the club only because she was clumsy and broke an expensive vase. That was the only reason they kept her around. The only... reason...

But he knew that wasn't true.

She was just a girl. She pretended to be strong, and it was such a believable act. But she was fragile. Too fragile. Far, far too frail not in mind, but in body. How did she manage to hide it so well all this time? Why didn't they notice it sooner? She was slipping away all that time, and no one even flinched, no one even said a word.


	2. Chapter 2

As Tamaki clung to Kyouya, he felt like he was drowning. He didn't _want _her to go. He wanted her to stay. He wanted her to make a miraculous recovery, and walk out of that hospital room, gown and all, looking cute and perky, saying 'Guys, stop being such babies, I'm fine!' But as much as he dreamed and hoped and wished and pleaded in his mind for that to happen, he knew it would never be. And even thinking about it made him fall apart even more. His little girl. He couldn't protect her from this. It was his fault. All his fault.

Tamaki was drawn out of his thoughts by the sounds of the hospital around him. He pulled away from Kyouya to look at him.

"I..." He trailed off, but cleared his throat, "U-Uh, I..." Tamaki struggled to get his voice back, as he was a complete mess at this point. "L-Let's go back... to the... music room..." He said, his voice still shaky. Going back to school right now didn't seem too fitting, but he understood why Tamaki wanted to go there. Everyone was still at the music room, as the club sometimes stayed there after school. The only reason they weren't with Haruhi right now was because it was Tamaki's turn. Kyouya had went to the hospital when he realized Tamaki was staying longer than usual, to check on him. Kyouya nodded to Tamaki, putting his hand on his friend's back as they started down the hall.

As Kyouya and Tamaki walked down the hall together, farther and farther away from Haruhi's room, the two males were in a slight daze. Tamaki was still holding back tears, but Kyouya had gotten his own out while he wouldn't be seen by anyone else, and his expressionless mask was back in place. He wouldn't dare cry in front of anyone else.

On the ride home, Tamaki stared out the window, as if searching for something out there. The sky seemed to have a pink tint to it as evening drew near. Kyouya just leaned his head in his hand, thinking. It was as if neither one of them could truly accept the fact that she was gone, even though they'd seen it with their own eyes.

_Something called ALS... I guess it's really rare, but... don't worry, it's not that bad_, she'd told them.

Not that bad...? Such a disease was extremely rare, and it was so, so unlikely that someone like Haruhi would get it. She was young... female... strong minded... How did this happen? Slowly, it broke down Haruhi's ability to do simple things... walking, eating, _breathing_... She was eventually in a wheel chair, and didn't come to school often. The Host Club members would come to visit her, and give the girls at school updates on 'his' condition, usually telling them how well she was doing, even though that was a lie- they had to keep their customers happy.

The worst part was... she wasn't officially diagnosed until it had gotten beyond worse. There was no cure... there was no way she was ever going to live. She just kept getting weaker and weaker, losing her smile, losing her strength, becoming more relaxed, if you want to call it that. But to Tamaki and everyone else, she just didn't seem like herself anymore. She didn't seem to find their stupid comments on how poor people lived irritating anymore, she just laughed. She didn't scold Tamaki for fawning over her, she just smiled weakly and said, 'I'm okay.'

Eventually, she was hospitalized. It took less than a month for her condition to diminish to the point where she could barely move, barely speak in full sentences. She was pale, she was cold, she looked lifeless, the muscles in her face had shrunken, making her look slightly deformed. But Tamaki would always tell her how beautiful she looked today, and he'd sit and talk to her, even though she could barely keep up a conversation. He did all the talking for her. The others visited as much as possible, and tried to ignore the fact that Haruhi didn't say anything about their constant visits. Usually her reaction to such a thing would be telling them to 'stop it, I'm fine, jeez.' But she wasn't fine. And she knew it in her heart.

Haruhi's father would stay with her daily. He stopped going to work just to be with her. He said hello to the boys when they visited, he even sat in the room while they were there, sometimes. His second home became the hospital. He let his natural hair color come back, and eventually got annoyed with the long hair and chopped it all off. He looked like a regular man again. Haruhi told him he didn't have to do that, but he just shushed her and told her it wasn't her fault, he was getting tired of the look anyway.

It was Tamaki's visiting hour when Haruhi had finally lost most all of any strength she'd held on to. He'd been talking to her about how the girls were all so worried, and showing her the cards they'd made for her. It only took Tamaki a minute or so to realize Haruhi's eyes were closed, and she was breathing very slowly. That's when he'd kneeled beside her bed, and he knew, in that moment, that she wasn't going to last.


	3. Chapter 3

As Tamaki thought back on the past hour, he closed his eyes. Tears were welling up again. He thought about Haruhi's father, and how at this very moment, he must be torn into pieces. Probably even more broken than he himself had been. But Tamaki didn't want to think about Haruhi's father, or even Haruhi. It just made his too... He couldn't find the words to describe how he felt.

But he didn't need to do that right now. Tamaki's eyes opened as he felt the car stop in front of the school, and he got out without looking over at Kyouya, who'd also exited the vehicle. Together, the two of them started towards the front entry of the school. Tamaki looked to the side, and for a short moment allowed himself to imagine that Haruhi was walking beside him, all dressed up in a yellow uniform, braids weaved into her hair. She'd look up to him, and quickly look away because she hated the fact that he could see her wearing such things. A small smile painted Tamaki's face for a split second, until that image of Haruhi faded away, leaving empty air in it's place. The corners of his mouth dropped once more, and he looked forward, focusing on his destination.

Far past the time they reached the front door, Kyouya had gripped Tamaki's shoulder with one hand. "Don't hurt yourself." He said. Tamaki had been about to run into the door to the music room face first. He blinked, coming out of his daze completely. "Sorry..." He said, opening one of the double doors and stepping inside, Kyouya following behind him.

Inside were a group of only two boys. One sitting at a table, poking at a piece of cake with a silver fork, and one sitting on the couch not far from that very table, just staring out the window. It seemed Mori and Hunny had been waiting for them... Was Hunny waiting for his turn? Tamaki's heart broke thinking of how no one would ever get their next turn at visiting Haruhi. He shook away those thoughts, though. It was time to be strong... But he really wished it wasn't.

"We're back." Said Kyouya, closing the door behind them. Hunny looked up from his cake, and Mori turned his head to look at them. Hunny smiled, but it quickly went away when no one returned his smile.

"Hey, Hunny-senpai..." Tamaki gave a sad smile, kneeling down in front of the short high-schooler. Hunny only stared at him. Kyouya was standing in the background, hands shoved in his pockets, a glare on his glasses hiding his eyes. Tamaki struggled to speak. "Well... uh, I've got some news." He said quietly. Hunny still didn't react, and it made him uneasy. "...Ah... Haruhi. She's, um..." His voice quivered, and he felt his eyes sting with tears. He didn't want to cry in front of Hunny, though. He had to be strong for his family... He hung his head as to hide his eyes, and covered his mouth with one hand. He closed his eyes, not letting his emotions get the best of him. He raised his head once more to look at Hunny, and spoke in the calmest way he could manage.

"Haruhi's not here anymore... She passed away today." Saying those words aloud made Tamaki's breath catch in his throat. He thought he could handle it. He really did. But as soon as they escaped his lips, he felt as if someone had bound his neck in chains. He looked away, tears spilling down his face again. _God... damn it..._

Hunny froze in his place, and his face turned pale. "Haru-chan...?" He whispered, his eyes watering. He shook his head slowly, and then dropped his eyes towards the floor. _No... Haru-chan... _his lip quivered, and he sobbed for his friend. If Hunny ever looked more like a baby, it was now. He covered his eyes with his hands, shaking.

Takashi rose up from his seat, and picked Hunny up like a child. He nodded to Kyouya and Tamaki, and for a moment, Kyouya thought he saw his eyes shine. But before he could make it out, Mori was out the door, leaving Kyouya and Tamaki alone together.

Tamaki hadn't moved. He was still bent over on one knee, and his eyes were hidden by his bangs as he looked to the side. Kyouya watched as his friend's form shook again.

Kyouya didn't want to cry for Haruhi. He didn't want to admit to himself that he wanted her back. That he'd also been secretly hoping for her to make a miraculous recovery all that time. And he wouldn't. He would never admit to having such impossible, childish hopes... Never...

"Let's go, Tamaki." He said, walking up behind him. Tamaki rose to his feet slowly, and wiped his face with his sleeve. He didn't say a word, only walked out the door and beyond, side by side with Kyouya.

Now the only ones left to give the news to were Hikaru and Kaoru, who'd probably gone home earlier in the day. Tamaki dreaded having to tell them, and Kyouya could tell. So he made the decision in his mind to do it himself. Not now... Because he was afraid if he finally had to say it out loud so soon, even he would break.


	4. Chapter 4

**I highly suggest this music to set the mood:** watch?v=zqSzB_xBmtM

Hikaru could hear his own breathing as he awoke that morning. He forced himself to open his eyes, setting himself upright in bed with one arm. He felt a rush of air hit his bare chest as the sheet slipped away from his form. Looking over, he noticed Kaoru was also waking up. At the exact same time he was, as always. "Morning..." Kaoru said groggily, rubbing his eyes as he sat up. "Hey." Was Hikaru's only response, and his voice seemed flat.

He averted his eyes from Kaoru, just staring at the carpet on the ground. His eyes were half-lidded, and he wasn't in the slightest bit alert. Ever since Haruhi had told them about her illness, she was all he could think about... N-Not that he liked her or anything. N-No, he was just a friend. Being worried. About a friend.

...

Hikaru sighed out loud. Who was he kidding? Ever since she was diagnosed, every time he saw her, he wanted to just... hold her, make it go away. Make it all okay, so Haruhi could be Haruhi again. He covered his mouth with one hand, his eyes closing. Haruhi. Haruhi. It was all about Haruhi. Why? What happened to just Kaoru and Hikaru? Why did they allow her inside...?

Hikaru's thoughts were interrupted when he felt Kaoru's arms wrap around his waist from behind, setting his chin on his shoulder. His eyes were closed. Hikaru looked to him, and his eyes watered. He knew that Kaoru felt the exact same way. And it wasn't just them. _Everyone _wanted Haruhi to get better.

He grasped Kaoru's arms that were hugging him, holding him close. The twins comforted each other. Today they would go see Haruhi, together.

Kyouya was slumped on his couch, staring at his phone. He flipped it open, and he flipped it closed. Open, close. Open, close. It was a simple pattern. Repetitive. Easy to remember. Distracting from the task at hand.

Out of no where, Kyouya threw the phone violently at the ground. It closed, sliding across the floor until it hit the wall. He stared at it, eyes wide. Even he didn't know why he did that... No, he knew. He was _frustrated_. He didn't _want _to tell the twins. He didn't _want _to say it at all. He didn't want it... to be true.

Kyouya felt a lump rise in his throat. His eyes stung. _No, _he told himself, _don't cry._ He would not cry. He had no _reason _to cry, he told himself, over and over again. But it didn't matter anymore. He felt his face warm until it was hot, and the tears spilled from his eyes, down his face. He gasped, his breath catching. He was so ashamed of himself as he recoiled on the couch. He had no right to cry over Haruhi. Haruhi had always been Tamaki's to love. And he'd always put Tamaki's happiness above his own... but now, she was gone. He had no reason anymore to hold back. Of course he had feelings towards that girl. _Of course _he did. Not that he would ever admit it... he had nothing to gain from loving that girl...

God damn it, why was everything always about personal gain?!

Kyouya grunted, standing up abruptly. _Stop crying, you're pathetic_,he said to himself. He straightened himself out. He went to the bathroom and washed his face, minutes later emerging from the room to grab his phone up off the ground. He stayed standing up, flipping open the phone and dialing Kaoru's number. Kyouya had a moment of second guessing, thinking that he should probably do this face to face, but... No time for that now.

Back at the twin's room, the two of them were getting dressed, having already showered. When Kaoru's cell started ringing, he grabbed it up off the dresser, glancing at the caller ID. "Shadow Lord's callin'." he said, making Hikaru look over. "What's he want?" He said, watching as Kaoru flipped open his phone. "Hey." He said into the phone, shoving one hand down into his pocket. Moments passed, and Hikaru only stared at his brother, unable to hear the other side of the conversation. Suddenly, Kaoru's eyes widened, his face going pale. His pupils seemed to shrink, and he dropped the phone. It hit the floor with an audible thud. Hikaru blinked, going over to his brother. "What?" He asked, looking concerned. He heard Kyouya on the other line now, still talking. "Kaoru? Hello?" Hikaru put his hands on Kaoru's shoulders, trying to snap him out of it, very worried at this point. Soon enough, he gave up and picked up the phone off the floor, speaking into it. "What the hell did you say to him?" he said aggressively.

Kyouya closed his eyes. "I... Hikaru. Yesterday evening, Haruhi passed on. Her condition became too much for her body to handle. I'm sorry."

At that moment, the world seemed to take on a completely different color all together. The grayness of it made Hikaru's throat dry up, his knees lose strength to stand, forcing him back on the bed. He shut the phone, letting his hand drop on the bed along with it.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Week two. Going back into the near past, only weeks before Haruhi passed away.  
**_

Haruhi smiled lightly as Hunny and Mori walked into her hospital room. Her eyes were half-lidded, and she looked very tired. "Hi, Haru-chan!" Hunny said, big smile on his face. Haruhi waved weakly. Hunny pulled up a chair to the side of her bed, climbing up in it. "Takashi has a present from us." He said, looking over to Mori. Mori set down a huge plush yellow bunny that resembled Usa-chan next to Haruhi on the bed. She laughed a bit, coughing a little as well. She touched it with one hand. "Thank you guys. I love it." She said, smiling a bit wider than she usually could manage. Hunny giggled, pleased with this. Mori pulled up another chair, sitting next to him. "We thought you could use a friend for when we can't be here." Said Hunny, keeping his smile.

Haruhi was sitting up in her bed, pillows tucked behind her back. She was very thin, and her cheeks were sunken in a bit more than they had been the day before. Despite her illness, her hair had begun to grow out a bit, and it was just above her shoulders. Ever since she stopped going to school, her haircuts weren't necessary anymore, and she didn't have to keep up her appearance as a boy. Her hospital gown had been changed numerous times over the weeks she'd been here, and right now she was wearing a whitish gray long-sleeved shirt to keep warm.

"How do you feel today Haru-chan? Any better?" Hunny asked, swinging his legs back and forth slightly as they hung down from the chair. Haruhi looked at her hand. "...Maybe a little bit. It's hard to stay awake sometimes." She said, turning her hand over and examining it. Hunny looked sad for a moment, but quickly put his happy face back on. "It's okay, everyone feels tired when they're sick. But you'll be better in no time, they just need to find the right medicine!" He said, smiling. Haruhi looked up to him, giving her own small smile and a small tilt of her head. She liked it when Hunny reassured her, because he always sounded like he truly believed in what he was saying. She wished she could be that confident in her recovery...

"Here." Mori said, making Haruhi look up again. It was a piece of yellow candy, with red stripes, wrapped in a clear plastic. He held it out to her. Haruhi smiled, taking it. "Thank you, Mori-senpai."

"...Mm." He nodded. Mori just looked at Haruhi for a moment. He wanted to say so much to her. It made him wish he didn't have such a hard time speaking...

"Oh. You guys, could you tell the girls I said I miss them? I'm sure they'd be happy to hear it." Haruhi said with a bit of a laugh in her voice. She never forgot about the girls at school. She'd heard so much from them lately, delivered messages through the guys. She had cards and get-well baskets galore sitting in the corner of the room. Those fangirl-ish ladies made Haruhi laugh a lot, but she really didn't mind spending time with them everyday. And getting gifts from them so often cheered her up a lot, the little notes they wrote in the cards made her smile. She didn't understand how girls could be so crazy when it came to liking a boy, but really, she didn't care about that anymore. She was just happy they cared.

"Of course! They miss you a lot too, Haru-chan. But it's okay, because soon you'll be able to go and greet them yourself!" He exclaimed, smiling wide. Haruhi laughed lightly. But on the inside, she always had a deep feeling of doubt. It was something she'd learned to hide from everyone else, because she knew that if she appeared to believe she would get better, than it would make everyone worry less, if only by a bit.


	6. Chapter 6

In through the door came the tall black-haired male, his glasses slightly crooked on his face as he hauled three giant wrapped baskets in his arms. Haruhi was already sitting up in her hospital bed, reading a book. Her eyes widened and she blinked, watching Kyouya's struggle with the heavy packages of goodies. After a moment of watching him, her face broke out in a smile, laughing quietly. Kyouya set the baskets down on the floor abruptly with a grunt, catching his breath. He sighed. "...You should be thankful. All three of those together weigh around thirty pounds. Those girls don't miss a single detail when it comes to specifying your interests..." Kyouya sighed once more. Haruhi laughed again. Anytime Kyouya visited her, he used the excuse of bringing gifts and cards from the girls at school. Afterwards he would always say something like, 'Well, since I'm already here.' Haruhi was very amused whenever Kyouya came to her side at the hospital, because she got to see a side of him he usually didn't show. And as much as he would never admit it, Haruhi could tell that he cared.

"Oh, I am." She said, smiling to him. Despite himself, he smiled back. He walked over to the side of her bed, looking down at her. "How are your legs?" He asked out of curiosity. "I... I still can't move them. The doctor said I probably won't walk again, my brain stopped sending motor function signals their way, apparently..." She looked down at her sheet-covered legs. She wanted to move them so badly, but no matter how hard she willed herself to do so, she couldn't do it. Kyouya looked that way as well. "Ah. I'm sorry. I know it must be troublesome to think you won't be able to walk again." He sympathized with her, but soon a small smirk washed over his face. "Just think of how much fun Tamaki will have parading you around the neighborhood in a mermaid costume." He got a laugh out of her, "Oh, no. Do me a favor and try not to say that around him, will you?" She said, still laughing. Kyouya laughed right along with her, his hands in his pockets.

Truly, Kyouya was proud of Haruhi for being so strong through all of this. Despite her deteriorating condition, she could still laugh at stupid little jokes that came about. She truly was a brave young woman...

"...Ah. I apologize, Haruhi. But I did say I would meet with my family for dinner tonight. I believe there is something my father wants to discuss with me. I need to get ready soon." He said, looking to her. "Alright. Good luck, Kyouya-senpai. See you later." She said, smiling up to him. He bowed his head toward her, and with that, exited the room.

Kyouya's visits were mostly short ones, but to Haruhi, they were meaningful. Kyouya's laugh would always put Haruhi in a good mood, since it was such a rare thing to hear. Haruhi picked up her book that she had set aside, glancing over at the baskets Kyouya had brought for a brief moment. She wondered what could be so heavy inside, but didn't bother with them for the moment. She had so many from probably most everyone of her regular customers that she was a bit overwhelmed. She opened her book back up where she'd placed the bookmark.

_Anne watched her father stride across the field on Saturday afternoon. She had told him she was making supper, but he had been a man with a mission. Sword belted into place and hat low on his brow, he exited through the back door and was gone. Anne had no idea where he was going or when he would return..._

Haruhi was reading a book called The Rescue, an English book by Lori Wick, an American author. She'd been learning English for a long time, but she was long due for practice. Just because she was sick, didn't mean she would give up on all her studies, darn it. And so, Haruhi dug into her stories, only struggling slightly on a few long words.


	7. Chapter 7

"Good morning, sleepy." Tamaki greeted Haruhi quietly as he entered her hospital room, carrying a huge bouquet of red roses. Haruhi sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes, as she was just waking up. It was early in the morning. She smiled when she saw him, but put her hand over her mouth when she saw the roses. "Oh my god, you didn't." She said, breaking out in giggles. "But I did." Tamaki said, setting them down in her lap. She cradled them in her arms. He smiled warmly down to her. She shook her head, still smiling. "You're so cheesy." She said. Tamaki felt himself warm up everywhere at her smile. "Cheesy? I say I'm charming." He said, leaning down to her. He pushed her bangs back and kissed her forehead lightly. Haruhi only kept her smile. She was used to Tamaki's newly found affection towards her. Oddly, he seemed much more... mature, as of late.

"Thank you, Tamaki-senpai. They're really pretty." She said, setting them aside to pay attention to him. He pulled up a chair next to her bed, sitting down. "So. How's my princess today? You look wonderful."

"I feel okay, I guess. My head doesn't hurt. And I look horrible, you're such a liar." She said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, I disagree. In fact, you look even more radiant than the last time I visited."

"That was less than ten hours ago."

"Mhm~"

"That doesn't work on me, Senpai. Just give it up." She said jokingly, referring to how he was looking at her with the same dreamy look he gave his regular customers at the Host Club. He fell back in his chair like he'd been shot, making Haruhi laugh even more. He sat back up straight, smiling. He looked down at his lap. Her laugh was like music to him. He had a certain pink hue to his cheeks more often than not when he was around Haruhi now-a-days. Something had changed inside him when he'd first found out about her illness. It was as if something had snapped, breaking him free from the idiotic manner he always seemed to go about in. He truly did seem to be more mature. But most of all, he'd realized his feelings towards Haruhi, and he didn't make much of an effort to hide them. By now, Haruhi had probably already realized it herself. And if she wasn't sick as she was, she would probably be pushing him away more. But along with her sickness came lack of intolerance. She didn't mind Tamaki fawning over her. It actually cheered her up a lot. Tamaki was so sweet, and he made her feel more confident in herself. It was true, Haruhi was beginning to lose her pretty skin complexion, and as she became thinner, her face was also thinning with it, making her look more like a skeleton everyday.

But to Tamaki, she was absolutely gorgeous. She was the most stunning he'd ever seen in his life.

"Senpai, you're doing it again." Haruhi's voice broke Tamaki from his daze, and he looked up to her. "Doing what?" He said, blinking, genuinely oblivious to what he had been doing that she could have noticed. "You're staring at me. Hey, you've got pretty eyes and all, but don't just sit there without saying anything." She said, more teasingly than serious. "I- Ahh." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. Ah, crap. There he went again with the blushing.

Haruhi laughed, looking down at her own hands. It felt so weird to be this way with Tamaki. Instead of constantly bickering and pushing him away when he tried to hug her, or squeeze the life out of her while doing so, she was sitting here calmly, having a silly little conversation with him, laughing at his stupid jokes and watching him blush occasionally, which he thought she didn't notice. She could tell now, and she wondered why it never occurred to her before. The way he acted, the way he looked at her. Haruhi was pretty oblivious when it came to love, but she was pretty sure someone who loved you like a father didn't look at you with the same eyes Tamaki did. So maybe Tamaki wasn't just her senpai. Maybe their relationship really was changing...

As Haruhi sat and thought, her smile slowly faded. Her thoughts of Tamaki and how the relationship between them could change were replaced by doubts, and her brow furrowed slightly. Right now was a horrible time to fall in love. Right now was a terrible time to suddenly decide to change her relationship with one of the guys. Right now... was a horrid time to start absolutely anything new in her life... A life that... was bound to end sooner or later...

Her vision blurred with tears welling up in her eyes. That was the first time she'd ever clearly considered the fact that... despite how much treatment, how much medicine they gave her... it was more likely that she'd die than survive this disease...

Her vision blurred with tears.

"...Haruhi?" Tamaki blinked, noticing that Haruhi had been staring down at her lap without speaking for a while. He gasped lightly when he saw tears begin to drop on the sheet below her. "H-Haruhi, what's wrong?" He said, bringing his hand to touch her face, turning her head to look at him. Tears spilled down her face, and Tamaki placed both hands now on each side of her face, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "Haruhi..." He said quietly.

Haruhi's face was turning red as she cried. Her voice quivered severely, "I can't walk, Tamaki. I can hardly breath sometimes and it's a struggle just to eat. I can't go to school, I can't be a host, I can't study, when I try to read my books my vision blurs and I have to stop. All I can do is sit in this bed and wait to die!" Her voice broke, and she shook. Haruhi had finally gotten fed up with all of it. She was sick of being sick. She wasn't _brave_, no matter how she may try to be. She wasn't _strong_. It was all such a phony lie... And she couldn't take it anymore.

Tamaki took a breath. His heart was pounding, and breaking for her at the same time. He wanted so badly to make it all go away...

"Haruhi..." Tamaki decided to do the only thing he could think of to comfort her. She didn't have the strength to fight it. He leaned forward and pulled her into his arms, holding her close. He closed his eyes tight, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Please... Don't give up on yourself, Haruhi..."

Her eyes widened.

_Please don't give up on me yet, Haruhi._

Her memory flashed back to the past briefly.

_Never! Keep fighting, Mom! Mhmhm._

She let her eyes close, and the tears fall. "Mom..." She whispered quietly, not loud enough for Tamaki to hear. She wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her. Tamaki got shivers for a moment at her touch. She sniffled, burying her face in his chest, for once accepting Tamaki's embrace. He put his hand on the back of her head, petting her hair down. He didn't say anything more to her. He's said just enough.

After that day, the two of them never spoke of it again. Tamaki never mentioned anything about her death, and it was his way of refusing to accept the possibility of her non-survival. He simply couldn't do it. He had to keep hope that somehow, some way, she would survive this horrible illness.


	8. Chapter 8

_**I'm sorry for not updating. Final exams have had me occupied. Anyway, I hope you like this next chapter. I had originally planned to give a scene from the twins visit to Haruhi when she was in the hospital, but I got this sudden writers block and no matter how much I try I can't seem to write about them like that. So I'll leave their visits to your imagination, I hope that is okay.**_

_**I have so many ideas for this story that it's a bit overwhelming. But just know that this certain chapter is set in present time, no more going back in the past. Also, a special thanks to AngelaAngel for sticking reviewing. It's my first attempt at one, and the chapters are mostly short, so I wasn't sure it was going to do too well. Thank you to the ones who have favorited or followed as well. It encourages me a lot.**_

_**Reviews are very much appreciated, so thank you. I'll stop rambling now. Here's chapter 8.**_

_You look like a sad puppy._

"Hn-" Tamaki covered his mouth, hunching over on his bed, sitting up. He stayed that way for a moment. He felt like he was going to be sick. The feeling in his stomach was becoming unbearable. He felt cold. He felt hot. He wanted to get the hell out of this country, and he wanted to stay right where he was and never move again.

He breathed unsteadily, closing his eyes, trying to regain his composure. Breath in. Breath out. Stop thinking. Get dressed. Nothing's changed. Everything is fine. It's all fine. Just go to school.

So with those lies in mind, that's exactly what he did.

Tamaki walked through the halls of Ouran Academy maybe a bit more slowly than usual. His head hung, a hand in his pocket, the other carrying his bag over his shoulder. He bumped into a slightly shorter male and stumbled back a bit.

"Jeez, watch it." He said. Tamaki blinked, looking to him. "...Oh. Sorry." He said simply, not reacting much. He vaguely heard the sounds of a few girls scolding the random boy fiercely for being mean to the prince. Despite his collision, he was still not paying much attention to where he was going. He went back to walking, this time looking more to the side, towards the window. He caught sight of the fountain outside, and looked away, back towards the floor. He didn't need flashbacks right now.

As Tamaki approached his classroom, he slowed down a bit. Tamaki had never skipped class before. He'd never even thought about it. He really never had any reason to, and it wouldn't look to good if anyone saw him.

He stopped in his tracks. Maybe just for today, he could just... Not go... That would be okay, right? Right. No one would even notice. You're a ghost, Tamaki. No one can see you today.

Convincing himself of such, he turned in the other direction, and exited the building. Maybe he could just wander around campus. Not like any staff would see him, they never even went outside. Regardless of his earlier rejection to paying any mind to the fountain, he somehow found himself sitting outside next to it, dipping his hand around in the water, not caring if the edge of his sleeve got wet. His eyes half-lidded and apparently uncaring, he thought back on Haruhi's first day with the Host Club. He couldn't help it, his mind wandered to her even when he willed it not to.

_You're not falling for me, are you~?_

_Ach- no way!_

He closed his eyes all the way. Her presence seemed to linger in the air here. But that wasn't something he exactly liked...

"Oh, uh, Tamaki." A feminine voice came from behind him, and he slowly looked to her. It was one of Mori-senpai's regular customers, he recognized her, but couldn't put a name to a face right now.

"Hello." He said, but soon after regretted it. His voice came out far more sullen than he had intended to show. In turn he looked back to the water, pulling his hand out and setting it on his lap, not caring if he got wet. The girl in the regular yellow girl's uniform looked down for a moment, her hands held down in front of her.

"I was- I was just wondering if you were okay. You're just acting different is all..."

Oh. So they didn't know. No one had told them about Haruhi yet. He wondered how that process would go... Not very well, he presumed. But telling this one random girl right now didn't really seem like a wise idea. So, with all his strength, he looked up to her, putting on his best host smile.

"Oh no, I'm perfectly fine, Princess. I just feel a bit tired is all, you don't need to worry about me." He said. The girl smiled her small little smile, and nodded.

"...Oh, that's good to hear. Well, uh, I need to get to class. I hope you feel more awake, I'll see you guys after school." She said in a cheery voice, obviously indicating that she had no intention of skipping her regular visit to the music room today. He waved as she left, but afterwards let his hand drop beside him. He took a deep breath, and sighed out. Club activities. He didn't remember wanting so badly to just go home and skip the club. But of course he wouldn't do that. It didn't matter what he was feeling right now, he told himself. The girls were counting on all of them to be faithful hosts. So that's exactly what he would do.

_Love you too, Senpai._

His head jerked downwards. Damn it. The memory of her just wouldn't leave him alone. It was fresh in his mind, and it took all he could do not to break down in the middle of campus. He took a deep breath once more, breathing out slowly. _Breath. Hold your head up. It's fine. Nothing has really changed. Everything is going to be okay. You can do this._

...

_No. No, you can't do this. You can't go on like this. Everything has definitely changed. Nothing will ever be the same ever again._ Tamaki's breathing faltered and his eyes widened. God, there he went again. It was then he finally realized that no matter how much he tried, he would never get over this. It was just too much.

"_Tamaki..._" He gasped as he heard a familiar female voice coming from behind, and he spun around to look. But when he looked, there was no one there. He blinked, trying to regain his senses. His breathing had picked up, he noticed, and he put his hand to his chest, trying to calm himself down. What was wrong with him? Oh, well he knew what was wrong with him, but now he was hearing things, and that was definitely not a good sign.

"_You can hear me?_" The voice came again. Tamaki's eyes widened, and he looked around rapidly, trying to find the source of that voice. It sounded so close, so real, but at the same time like an echo. Soft and confused. Tamaki looked down into the water. This was stupid. It was this location. It was reminding him of her too much and making him imagine things that weren't there. Yeah. That was it.

Tamaki stood up and walked away, glancing behind him briefly, but looking back to the path ahead of him. No more. He decided silently not to go back there any time soon. It was creepy and it just put his mind into more of a jumble than it already was, and that was saying a lot.

Somewhere around the fountain, a kind of presence really was lingering. It stayed where it was. It watched Tamaki leave, and tried to call out again, but to no avail, he couldn't hear her anymore... Her? _It._ It tried to identify itself, who? Was it a who? A what? Why did it know that male's name? It asked itself this over and over. But referring to itself as _it _didn't seem right. So from that point, _she _decided to be a she. Yes. That seemed right. That was good. That was very good. At least, she thought. Think. Thinking? Did one need a mind for such...? She couldn't remember, but she also couldn't even see her own hand anymore, if she even had one. She felt like she was there and she was not there, and there was no more body for her to control, there was just consciousness lingering in the air.

_Tamaki? You're sad. Don't be sad. I don't like your sadness._ She tried to speak to him again, but he just kept walking, and her voice wasn't reaching him. She tried to think of her own name instead of him. What was happening? Why couldn't anyone she tried to talk to hear her? Why was it that she couldn't see anything in the mirror when she looked into it? Where were her eyes? Her face? Where was she? What was this place?

So many questions. No answers anywhere. This was not a good place for Haruhi to be.

_Haruhi._

Haruhi. Haruhi... Haruhi! She triumphed briefly at this, remembering her name. But soon that momentary joy subsided, and she realized that despite knowing a name, there was still no memory of who she was or why she knew that boy. Or even what she was. A ghost? She thought on this, and deemed it the most reasonable answer. That must be it. Right?

Then again. What exactly was a ghost, again...?

Tamaki felt a slight shock to his system, and paused in his trek around the campus. Ach... what was that? He shook his head, ignoring it for the time being.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Final exams have been killing my brain cells, sorry about that. They end after tomorrow, so I should be able to update more often. Also, I'm kind of proud of this chapter, as it's longer than most that I write. And I stopped spelling Kyoya's name with a U, because for some reason that just started to really bother me. _**

**_Reviews are appreciated. _**

She followed Tamaki to that pink room that was filled with females and only about six boys, two of them whom looked exactly the same. She watched him as he talked to the girls and how they reacted, acting very giddy. She could see it in his blue eyes. He was not his usual self. But... what was his usual self? Haruhi could not remember. She just knew that something was off with this boy, and couldn't figure why he was so sad, or why he was hiding his sadness. She didn't want him to be sad. She wanted him to be happy. For what reason, though, she couldn't figure why.

Then there was a little boy who also had blonde hair. He seemed very sad as well. He sat in the lap of a much taller boy who had black hair and a very distant look in his eyes. The taller boy was holding him, and the girls were gathered around them, kind of just watching, as if they didn't know how to react to this silence from both of them. The little boy seemed to be crying, but his face wasn't visible, it was tucked into the taller boy's chest.

There was another boy sitting at a table with a lap top, not paying very much mind at all to the people around him. He wore glasses and had black hair. Haruhi recognized him, but at the same time, had no idea who he was. He was the one who had been holding Tamaki in the hallway, at... Where had that place been? She had seen a sleeping girl in a bed, and Tamaki crying next to her. Maybe he was sad because he couldn't get her to wake up? She watched the glasses boy for a little while, but he hardly did anything other than type. She looked at his screen, but couldn't read anything he was writing. For some reason she had lost the ability to read, too.

There was a lot of things Haruhi couldn't do anymore. There were many things she couldn't remember, also, pertaining to her personal memories and common knowledge of the way humans acted and lived as well, like reasons why people cried when their friends wouldn't wake up or why they wouldn't wake up at all.

For instance, death.

The two identical boys were leaving the room together very early on, as if they had lost interest. She couldn't tell, but thought she saw something of despair in their eyes. She wished she knew their names. Their only distinguishing feature from each other was the way they parted their hair. But somehow, the two of them seemed very different from each other to her.

Haruhi just looked around the room, she could see everything, and everyone. The boys all looked familiar to her, especially Tamaki, but she didn't actually know who they were. She could only put a name to a face with Tamaki. The rest of them were such a mystery to her, despite their familiarity. She wished she could talk to them, but no matter how much she tried, they wouldn't respond.

They all had an air of sadness about them, and the girls seemed very uncomfortable, only a bit less around Tamaki, who most of them had crowded around at this point. A lot of them were leaving, and a few were staying to talk with Tamaki.

She lingered behind the boy with glasses, looking over his shoulder at the lap top screen, and occasionally looking at him. A few minutes passed. Nothing much happened. But after a short while, the boy stopped typing. He blinked, and glanced behind him. If Haruhi could smile, she would be doing that now, because from her point of view, he was looking directly at her. It made her feel like she at least had some sort of existence in their minds.

But of course, Kyoya couldn't see her and Haruhi didn't actually have any sort of physical or visible shape to define her. She was kind of just, well, there.

Kyoya blinked a few times. He rose an eyebrow slightly, and turned back to his laptop. Huh. For some reason he'd gotten the feeling someone was behind him.

He brushed it aside as nothing.

Haruhi stopped gawking at him, going around to other parts of the room. She wasn't sure how she was moving, all she had to do was wish it and she was there. She had only lingered around that glasses boy because of how familiar he seemed to her.

She stayed around where Tamaki was, watching the girls and the way they spoke to him. She was observing as much as possible. She wanted to know why she knew these people, and why this whole place seemed so well known to her. She didn't remember ever being here. Or being any where else other than around Tamaki, for that matter. Since... Since whenever she started being, she guessed, she had just followed him around. He lived in a big place. He had a big bed. But he always seemed so sad. He pressed his fingers on and odd sort of device that made beeping sounds, and he occasionally put it to his ear, like he was listening to something. Haruhi could hear more than one voice at the end, two voices saying something like "Get out of bed! Boss, we picked out a suit for her. You need to see it!" And then a faint female voice in the background, kind of yelling, "Get- Guys, get OFF!" And that was always the point when he closed the device and set it on his bed, laying back down. She wondered why he kept listening to it.

As Haruhi thought to herself, she realized that the room was emptying out.

A few girls were saying their good-byes, and the more that left, the less Tamaki kept up his smile. He looked down at his lap. He leaned back. Mori and Hunny were leaving, Hunny holding Mori's hand as they exited. The little guy had tried his best to be friendly and nice to the girls today, but he just couldn't bring himself to do anything whole-heartedly. He walked out of the music room looking very dejected that day.

So, once again, Tamaki was left alone with Kyoya.

That seemed to be happening quite often lately. It was purely coincidence, and it didn't seem to have much importance.

But it only took a few minutes for Kyoya to shut his laptop with a click and stand. He left it in it's place and walked over to the couch where Tamaki was sitting, kind of slouching, his hair hiding his eyes. He was only sitting there, not seeming to have any motivation at all to get up and go home for the day. Kyoya sighed quietly. He wondered how long Tamaki would keep this up.

With a few steps towards him, Kyoya sat down on the couch next to Tamaki only a short distance away. He looked to him, but Tamaki still didn't react.

"...Tamaki. I know you're upset." Kyoya started, looking down at his lap for a moment, and then back to his friend. "But you can't stay this way forever. You've got to get a hold on yourself." Kyoya wasn't that good with words when it came to being comforting, but he was trying his best.

"...Haruhi wouldn't want you to act this way."

In the background, where Haruhi still lingered, she caught the mention of her name. Were they talking about her, or someone else? She wondered, and listened closely, wanting to get any possible information on who she was or what had happened to put her in the position she was now.

Tamaki stiffened a bit when Kyoya had said that. He'd... never thought of it that way.

"I..." Tamaki started quietly, trailing off. He didn't quite know what to say. He looked up slightly towards Kyoya, who he saw was looking at him, his eyes filled with concern for him. Kyoya may be the Shadow Lord, but Tamaki was his best friend. His first friend. He wasn't so inhuman that he didn't care at all. Contrary to common belief, Kyoya had feelings too.

"...She wouldn't, would she..." He said quietly, more as a statement than a question. He hid his eyes once more. Kyoya was right.

"I wonder... if she got to see her mother again." He said.

Suddenly, Haruhi felt as if she had mass. She looked around. She felt something... Her hand? She looked down at it. It was pale and white, and she didn't appear to have any sort of clothing, but didn't seem to have any defining feminine characteristics except for her face and her short hair. She could see herself when she looked down, but the others didn't seem to be able to.

And with the feeling of having a physical form came memories.

_We welcome you, poor man, to out world... of beauty~!_

_Who are you calling Haru-chan?!_

_Aww, we were going to feature that renaissance vase in the auction. _

_Way to go, commoner, the bidding for that was going to start at 8 million yen!_

_So, Haruhi, you're a... girl?_

_Biologically speaking, yes. _

Her eyes widened. She remembered everything. But... but why was...

_You don't have to worry anymore. I'll be okay... where I'm going._

Her newly found breath caught.

_...Love you too, Senpai. _

With sudden realization, she started to shake. She wrapped her arms around herself and fell to her knees on the floor. Oh, god. No. It couldn't be. This was impossible. She couldn't possibly be... wasn't...

"We should go home before this place locks up for the day. Will you be okay on your own?" Kyoya said, putting his hand on Tamaki's shoulder. Tamaki looked up to him all the way at last, and nodded.

"I'm... Yeah. I'm fine." He said. With that, the two of them stood and started for the door.

Haruhi looked up, watching them. She shook her head.

"_No... Don't leave... Tamaki! Kyoya!_" She called out to them, but there was no response. She breathed unevenly, and forced herself to stand. She tried to grab Kyoya's wrist, but her hand went right through him. She gasped. The two of them kept walking, further and further away from her as she stood there, shocked and confused, and very afraid. She shook her head once more, more desperately this time.

"_I'm... I'm still here!_" She shouted at the top of her lungs, but still, there was no response from either of them as they exited the room.

Haruhi shook intensely, and she held her hand out to their direction. She wanted to follow them, but couldn't bring herself to move. Her sobs were choking her, and she fell to floor once more.

It occurred to Haruhi that she was completely alone in this world. She couldn't communicate. Everyone was deaf to her voice. Everyone was blind to her presence. No one could feel her if she touched them.

She was dead to them.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Please see authors minipanicattack note at the end._**

* * *

In her struggle to grasp anything that was happening, Haruhi had forced herself to move. She had to... do _something_. She was terribly confused, panicked even, and she didn't know what to do.

So when she decided to follow them, she found herself inside Kyoya's room. She didn't know how she'd gotten there, she'd only wished to follow them...

"Nn..." Her attention was caught by a slight groan coming from behind. When she turned around, she saw Kyoya coming straight toward her, glasses in one hand, rubbing his eyes with the other. She gasped, but he went right through her without stopping, standing now in front of the window. She turned to face him again. He didn't put his glasses back on, only shoved them in his pocket.

Kyoya had bigger goals in life. He had no time to sulk over the death of an insignificant aspect to his plans.

...

God, that sounded cold. Kyoya scolded himself mentally for thinking such things. He shook his head, sighing, rubbing his eyes once more with one hand. He had to wake up to the world already. Her death was clouding his view on reality. And a lot of times, without his consent, his eyes would produce tears that just spilled without his permission.

Like right now.

_Stop it. _He said for the fifth time to himself, breathing out. He wiped his face with his sleeve, leaning his forehead against the window and closing his eyes.

Haruhi watched all of it. She'd never seen Kyoya cry before. Was she the reason he was crying?

_...Don't get full of yourself_, she thought.

Kyoya sighed, getting himself together, but he didn't move from his spot. He needed to think. There was still much to do. The girls didn't know that she was gone. Were they expected to tell them, or would rumor get out? There was her funeral. Ranka couldn't afford a lot all by himself. He'd made the decision to talk with him and maybe see if he could get him to let him pay for some things. It was the least he could do. There was the club... They could manage without Haruhi. But would they want to?

Probably not.

But he couldn't just let that slip away. It meant so much to everyone involved. Somehow he had to remedy this...

Kyoya laughed softly.

"You're such a nuisance, even after death." He kept his eyes closed.

Haruhi had closed in on Kyoya long before. She wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, she could feel him. She leaned her head on his back, her own tears falling. She was non-existent to him, she knew he couldn't feel her, but she wanted so much for him to at least know she was there. Kyoya had been so good to her all this time. He acted like he didn't care, he played the villain. But behind it all, he was an amazing person, and Haruhi could see that. She missed him already. She missed all of them. These friends that she'd made had never meant so much to her as they did now.

With one movement, Haruhi's invisible embrace was broken. Kyoya moved to the other side of the room, into his adjoining bathroom. She watched him walk away, and stayed in her place, arms hanging limply at her sides.

This felt all too real to be a dream.

* * *

**_SO. LET ME GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT. I AM NOT A KYOYA/HARUHI SHIPPER. DO NOT TAKE IT THIS WRONG WAY. OF COURSE HARUHI IS SUPER EMOTIONAL AND ATTACHEDY TO EVERYONE. SHE'S DEAD. THAT KINDA CHANGES YOU A BIT, YOU KNOW?_**

**_But seriously. Haruhi is not like, in love with Kyoya or anything because she hugged him the way she did in this scene. She was simply overwhelmed by, well, everything, and she wanted so much for someone to acknowledge her that she got really, really emotional and just clung to him because she was upset that he couldn't see her along with everyone else._**

**_I hope I made that clear, I really wanted to point that out to people before they stopped reading or something because they thought this may be turning into a Haruhi/Kyoya fic. _**_**I may be a one-sided supporter of them, but I don't really believe in the concept that Haruhi and Kyoya could be together that way. (also she's dead in this so wee there goes that theory.)**_

**_Kso, you may be wondering where all this is going. I've kinda just been dragging it out for a while because I'mnotreallyallthatgoodatthisa nymore. _**

**_Don't worry I'll get the point soon I promise Q A Q_**

**_Also this is really short I'm sorry to disappoint T^T_**

**_Thanks for your time, reviewers get my ecstatic jump up and down behind the screen. I seriously love all of you who actually took the time to review this little piece of my crap that is my attempt at emotionalness. ; ;_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Wee, plot development. I feel like I'm making up for that last pathetic little chapter I posted. Anyways though, don't mind me, read on! _**

* * *

"_Get- Guys, get OFF!_"

_Click._

...

Tamaki stared at his phone after shutting it. It was really the only way he would ever hear her voice again. He wished he had something more meaningful than this.

But to hear the sound of her voice, before the illness had hit, if even for a moment was at least more than nothing at all...

"Haruhi..." He said quietly.

Tamaki was sitting on the side of his bed, having set his phone down by now. It was Sunday. No school. No school meant a lot of time to think, and a lot of thinking meant more unwanted sickness to pretty much every part of him just from thinking about her.

_Damn it._

Yeah, so Kyoya was right. He shouldn't sulk so much. But he couldn't help it. Most of the time, when he had any free time, he was looking through pictures he'd taken of her with the Host Club on his phone. He was listening to that short message from the twins with her voice in the background. He was remembering everything and anything about her.

And it was completely miserable.

Tamaki wasn't so shallow as to wish he'd never met her just because of the pain he felt now. He wasn't that kind of person. But for just a moment, he wished he could just forget about all of this and just feel... _normal_.

Suddenly, he felt as if there were someone... else.. in his room. He blinked, looking over his shoulder at his bedroom door. He hadn't heard it open. And there was no one there.

So, why...?

Tamaki sighed, shaking his head. This was getting ridiculous. Lately, where ever he went, in his own home or otherwise, for some reason he always felt like someone other than himself were in the room when he was alone. It was creeping him out and it was very uncomfortable, he tried to ignore it as best as he could. But, jeez. It seemed to be getting stronger. He could have sworn he'd heard some one breathing. It was starting to really freak him out.

Haruhi sat on the bed next to Tamaki, gazing at him with such a sad look in her eyes. She had admitted it to herself long ago. He was a big idiot. He was a rich moron who didn't understand the hardships the real world had. But she loved this big idiot. She really did. Because on top of all that, he was caring. He was kind. He was sweet, and most of all, he cared deeply for her. He'd told her more than once, and she could feel it whenever she was around him. She set her hand on top of his that was resting on the bed, knowing he couldn't feel it, but hoping that he would at least... maybe look her way, even if he was really looking into nothing.

For some reason Tamaki was the only one having an intense feeling of her presence lingering. He didn't know it was her, he just knew that he felt someone there. He tried to ignore it, but he was failing miserably. Haruhi had been trying and trying to get through to him, to somehow jump the track into the physical. She had to be getting close, right...?

But... what would happen if she did step over that line?

Haruhi hadn't considered that. What would he do if he saw her the way she was now? Haruhi hadn't noticed it herself, but she had sort of a white glow about her entire form. She had a female shape, but anything that would biologically define her as male or female before was gone. All she had was her body, face and the hair that framed it. She couldn't look into a mirror, as there was nothing there when she tried, but if you were to look at her the way she was now, she would look something like a wingless angel, glowing in simple beauty.

Of course, that didn't really matter. No one could see her. There was no one to see the angelic form she'd taken on when she'd left her dying body.

Tamaki moved his hand to rub his eyes, leaving Haruhi with a very sad look on her face as his hand all but went through her own. She tried to speak to him one more time.

"_Please, I'm right here. Can't you hear me? I'm right next to you, Tamaki..._" She said close in his ear, Trying to get her voice to reach him.

Tamaki froze. He suddenly felt a chill run up and down his spine. He blinked rapidly, looking around. God, maybe someone really was stalking him. If so, they were very good at hiding.

Oh well, he guessed he would ju-

_I'm right here, Tamaki._

Tamaki froze in his place again as he was about to get up. His eyes wide, he couldn't move. Was that...? He glanced around every which way, but saw no one.

"Wh... Whose there?" He said shakily, fearing now that maybe there for real _was_ someone in here.

Haruhi's eyes widened as well. With realization, she started talking again. Could he hear her?

"_I'm here, Tamaki, I'm sitting beside you, look at me. Can you see me? I'm here with you!_" She repeated herself.

Tamaki blinked rapidly. The voice was getting slightly louder, and it sounded like a sort of faint echo. And... It sounded like...

That was impossible.

Tamaki put a hand to his head, closing his eyes, trying to clear his mind. He was imagining things again.

Haruhi's tone grew desperate as she sensed him trying to block her out.

"_No, Tamaki, listen! I'm here, I haven't gone anywhere! Please, _please,_ listen, don't shut me out!_"

Tamaki's breathing became heavier. He began to panic a bit. He could make out the whisper like echo, and what it was saying disturbed him. He feared he might be going insane. With one last effort, he covered his ears, his brow furrowing.

"S-Stop..." He said, trying to sound aggressive, but failing. He was saying it more for himself, trying to get his mind to stop playing tricks on him. The voice was fading.

Haruhi's eyes filled with tears, and they spilled down her face as she shouted out to him desperately.

"_It's not a dream! I'm real, I'm here, I'm... I'm alive, Tamaki, it's me, Haruhi!_" She screamed, putting her hands on his chest, though he couldn't feel it.

Tamaki's eyes shot open.

_It's me, Haruhi!_

_Haruhi!_

_Haruhi!_

The name echoed in his mind, and he brought his hands down from his ears.

"H-Haruhi?" He said aloud, looking around frantically. He felt insane even considering the possibility.

Haruhi's face broke out in a smile. He could hear her. He could _hear _her. The tears continued to stream down her face.

"_Yes. Yes, I'm here! I'm sitting right beside you, Tamaki, just look at me!_"

She called out in one final effort, and Tamaki's gaze averted to where she was sitting on his bed beside him.

He squinted.

A glow?

Something of a white light.

Getting more distinguishable by the second.

A face.

Brown eyes, filled with tears, though beautiful.

"Tamaki!"

..._Haruhi._


	12. Chapter 12

"Haru...hi..." Her name fell slowly from his lips as he stared in wide-eyed awe at what he saw before his eyes.

"I-I'm here." She stuttered, laughing joyously between her sobs, her hands still on his chest as she was so close to him. Her voice was the most beautiful sound he'd heard in all his life.

He couldn't look anywhere but her eyes. Her beautiful, amazing, unbelievably pure eyes. She was somewhat transparent. She was...

She resembled an angel.

Tamaki found himself unable to breath. Unable to move. Unable to speak or blink or do anything but stare at her in complete and utter amazement and shock.

Was this a dream?

"Wh..." He tried to form words, but instead found his vision blurring. He blinked back the tears that were forming in his eyes.

"H...How.. How is..." He stumbled over his words, still unable to look away from her. Her smile was making it's way all the way to his core. Her eyes and the soft glow of her entire form were warming him more than he could say.

"Tamaki... You can see me..." She said as if it was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest, closing her eyes.

He could see her. He could hear her. He could feel her touch. She laughed and cried at the same time, the tears continuing to fall. They didn't soak his shirt, only seemed to evaporate into star dust that disappeared in seconds. She wasn't alone any longer.

He let his breath out unsteadily, looking down at the angel embracing him.

"You... Wh..." He still struggled to form a sentence.

"I tried to reach you... I tried to reach all of you, I was there the whole time and... and you couldn't see me or hear me, and I didn't know who I was, and..." She rambled on, soon trailing off into silence as she held him.

Tamaki tried his best to get a grip on reality here. This moment would have been something of pure bliss to Tamaki. If he wasn't second guessing his sanity.

Was this even real?

Was Haruhi really in this room with him, hugging him, appearing to be an angel? Had she turned into an angel after she died? Was she a ghost?

Was she a figment of his imagination?

Doubt overcame him. This was impossible. It wasn't real. Either this was a dream, or he had completely lost his mind.

As soon as he thought that, he noticed that she was becoming somewhat more transparent, and her glow was fading.

"T-Tamaki?" She looked up to him, and was stung by the look in his eyes. _Fear_. He hadn't returned her embrace and he couldn't even form a sentence. She felt it then. He didn't... he couldn't believe that she was really here. He didn't believe in her.

"N-No, Tamaki, it's me! I'm here, you have to believe me, I'm not an illusion!" She said frantically, calling out to him.

Tamaki shook slightly. He was suddenly terrified. Something was wrong with him. He kept repeating that to himself. He hadn't realized how depressed he'd become over the loss of Haruhi, and now he was having hallucinations. Oh, god.

He swallowed hard, his eyes still wide. She was fading little by little from his vision. But it wasn't fast enough. He stumbled back on his bed.

"G-Get away!" He screamed, trying to dismiss the illusion his mind was creating.

Haruhi took in a sharp breath, she felt as if a knife had suddenly been jammed through her chest. Her eyes wide, her lips parted just slightly.

"T-Tamaki..." She said quietly, her voice shaky.

"You're not real!" He yelled again, causing her to flinch with every word. Tears streamed down her face as she held her breath.

Her light was fading from Tamaki's vision more rapidly, and he waited for it to go away.

"You can't..." She said weakly, her eyes closing as she lowered her head, shaking with tears.

In only seconds, Haruhi was once again invisible to him.

He let out a breath, still shaky from what had just happened. He'd done it. He'd gotten rid of it... And for a moment, he was relieved. But that soon ended as he straightened his posture on the bed. He put a hand to his head, closing his eyes. No. He wasn't going to let this happen to him. He couldn't let it happen. It would just cause trouble for everyone involved... And losing his sanity was something Tamaki had a newly found fear of. Who knows what he could end up doing?

He had to stay strong. Haruhi would not want him to be this way.

He figured he should get some rest. Lazing around in bed all day wasn't something he exactly enjoyed, but fatigue plus the feeling of loss of control over depression equals a not very productive day.

As Tamaki crawled under his sheets, he had already closed his eyes. Maybe for a while he could just live in a world where Haruhi had recovered from her illness... somewhere in dream land...

At the far end of the bed, Haruhi sat, her hands held to her chest, her bangs hiding her eyes as streams of tears ran down her face. She shook, and hugged herself. It was the most horrid feeling she'd ever experienced. Haruhi sobbed loudly at this point, and no one could hear it at all. There was no one. Not even her mother. Haruhi had been so sure she'd see her mother again when she left the world... but apparently, that wasn't to be...

Was this what it was like for her? Was she all alone in the world when she died, still lingering around her and Dad? Was she still here? Were there others?

The questions filled her mind, but were wiped out by the overwhelming feeling over loneliness that overtook her. She fell over sideways on the bed, she was weightless, so she made no sound or movement to disturb Tamaki as he slept. She looked up weakly at him. With not another thought, she crawled over beside him on the bed, laying down next to him and holding his hand. Her cries for recognition faded after a while, and she closed her eyes, wanting so much to go to sleep and forget this. But she couldn't sleep... She couldn't even get tired. That capability had been taken from her.

So all she could do was stare at Tamaki's sleeping face, her lip quivering every once in a while as she set her forehead against his. What had she really been expecting? _I'm a ghost_, she thought. Of course he was terrified.

Haruhi hadn't realized the real reason he had been so scared. It wasn't she that he was afraid of, but himself. His own possible inability of keeping or regaining self control.

_What will become of me?_

She asked in her mind, closing her eyes once more.

_...Mom, can you hear me still, even as I am now?_

Too many tears had been shed today.

_Please... if you can... please, help me... I don't want to stay this way... _

_I can't take it anymore._

Somewhere faraway, but close all the same, a voice whispered and sent it's words off, carried by the wind.

_It's time._

* * *

_**Ooo, foreshadowing.**_

_**I'M SORRY DON'T SHOOT ME.**_

_**fffff-**_

_**Okay but for serious. I know it's sadness. I'm sorry but that's just the way it has to be for now, don't worry, I'm working on this and I promise the ending will be not that bad Dx**_

_**Speaking of the ending, that's not for a while. This thing is probably going to be like really long. It gives me something to do at least. I: **_

_**Also sorry for the wait. I have no real excuse this time other than writers block and laziness. Sorryyyy.**_

_**I can't believe people are actually reading this ohmygod. It's not even that good. Thank you so much. You don't know how happy it makes me when you review and tell me you can't wait for the next chapter. I get this sudden burst of motivation and start writing. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 3 ; ;**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_First of all, sorry this chapter is so short, I'm working on it, I promise. Thank you all soooo much ohmygosh, I can't, I just tyhrgfvybhjn._**

**_You're all so supportive and you really have no idea how happy it makes me to see the review number go one up when checking on the story stats. I know I've said this already, but hnnn, you're all just wonderful amazing lovely people and I love you all to death ; ; /hughughug_**

**_Second~ I need to respond to a guest user here since they don't have an account on fanfiction and asked for a reply._**

**_Garugamafushu: Hey there, thanks for reviewing my story so often, I do appreciate it a lot! Seriously, very helpful, so thank you. I'm glad you want to get into writing fanfics, I'll be sure to read them if you make an account. Also, lol, I'm not actually that busy at all. I'm just a girl in high school writing a fan fiction. _**

**_You said you want to write a fan fiction similar to mine? I don't know, clarify if I'm wrong. But yeah, I guess you could. I mean if you want to write a fan fiction where one of the characters die, that's completely your choice, it's not up to me to tell you whether or not you can do it. But are you referring to the type of ghost thing I have going on here, with her dying from disease? I wouldn't be very happy if some one took all those ideas together and combined them into a story just with a different character, if that's what you're saying. I wouldn't want someone to just insert a different character in the same exact situation Haruhi is in this story. But if you want to write a story where maybe some one dies and becomes a ghost or something, hey, sure. You can if you want, once again, not my decision to make for you. The whole dying and becoming a ghost isn't such a private idea, it's been used a lot._**

**_Anyways, thank you for reviewing, and I hope that if you do write a fan fiction you'll work hard, I would very much like to read it. Good luck~_**

**_Okay, that was long, lol, here's the next chapter._**

* * *

"I... I'd really appreciate that a lot, Kyoya." Ryoji nodded, his eyes turned to the floor. He couldn't seem to look anyone straight in the eyes for very long anymore.

"I'm honored to do you such a service." Kyoya said softly, he was careful to be sensitive to this man. Anything he said could set him off on a trail of tears at this point.

Ryoji, formerly referred to as Ranka, had recently lost his daughter, his only family, to an incurable disease in the period of five short months after it worsened to the point of hospitalization. Needless to say, he'd felt the loss harder than any one, which was still an understatement. He'd managed to get himself together somewhat, come out of the house every once in a while. It'd been only weeks since she'd died, and he was still a broken mess.

Kyoya sat across from him, his expression softer than usual. He truly felt sorry for this man. Losing a daughter while she was still so young, doing so well in school, big plans ahead of her. And now she was just gone. He'd now lost both of the only two girls he'd ever loved.

Kyoya was going to pay in full for anything and everything Ryoji would want for his daughter's funeral. He would arrange it mostly, with a bit of Mister Fujioka's consent, because the man was really in no shape to be planning his own daughter's funeral so soon. It was just too much. Ryoji had asked for maybe a few poster boards, with pictures of memories of his daughter, recent and past, he'd given Kyoya permission to go through the boxes of old photos he had stored away, and there were many, many pictures, they took a while to go through.

He made copies of the pictures, returning the originals to the boxes, and had the help make them into designed edges, decorate the board, with his instruction here and there on where to put the pictures. The three boards turned out very nicely, decorated all in Haruhi. Pictures from when she was a little girl, ones with her mother, some with both her parents, from grade school, from middle school, from Christmas, even some from high school, grouped with the host club members.

Kyoya had finally done it, not long ago. He'd told the girls of Haruhi's death, but didn't really need to, because the news had been spreading fast. But he felt he needed to tell them officially. They had all cried for her, and were very shocked when he revealed that Haruhi was biologically female. But they didn't care, they loved her all the same, and it didn't affect their sorrow over the fact that she had passed. Ryoji had told Kyoya that it was okay for some of the girls from that school to come if they wanted, as long as they stayed in line and didn't make a mess of anything. Most of them planned on coming when he'd told them that.

She was put in a casket for her wake, decorated with flowers and all, looking like a sleeping beauty, all fixed up. Kyoya had gotten the first look at her. She was beautiful, she looked as though she could wake up from her nap at any moment with the kiss from the prince...

Kyoya had to look away.

After a few days, now at this point, the girls had calmed down. They were all still very saddened, especially her regular customers, but they were reserved about it. Kyoya had invited each and every one of them personally, telling them the Haruhi's father would be honored if they came.

Before they knew it, it was time to go visit Haruhi one last time.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Hey there. Me again._**

**_As you may or may not know, usually funerals in Japan a Buddhist ones, even if the person or their family weren't Buddhists. Or if it's not a Buddhist funeral, usually the funeral wouldn't be, well, how I'm writing it. But you know what? Screw it. xD I don't feel like going through all that, this is not about her funeral, and it doesn't really matter. So I just wrote it how a funeral would be usually here in America. And the rest of it will be, too. Most of the people in Japan cremate their dead because they think burial is unclean I guess or something like that, but I don't really feel right cremating Haruhi and burying her ashes so she's just going to be buried probably. _**

**_Okay, that said, here you go, next chapter. Finally. I got so distracted from writing this every time I tried. _**

* * *

Tamaki stood in front of his mirror, straightening his white tie that contrasted with his black suit. When it was adjusted, he let his arms hang at his sides. He only stared at himself for a moment, looking into his own eyes.

Even he could tell the difference in himself.

His eyes weren't as bright as they used to be. He didn't stand as tall and proud as he once did in nature. His voice was quieter and calm when he spoke, and he didn't look people straight in the eyes that often any more.

He felt so strange. Was this really all because of Haruhi's death? He knew he would change after she left, but he never knew he could turn into a completely different person.

He took a breath.

Today was Haruhi's funeral.

He turned away from the mirror, he was fully prepared. Well, in terms of grooming. Emotionally? Probably not.

Tamaki went out to the limo, walking dispassionately to the door and sliding in beside his father. Mr. Suoh looked at his son and noticed when he didn't so much as glance at him. He put his hand on his shoulder, making Tamaki look to him.

"You'll be okay." He said softly, offering a small smile that he tried not to look sad in doing. Tamaki nodded, but couldn't bring himself to smile back.

The ride there was a quiet one, Tamaki leaning his head in his hand, staring out the window. It was cloudy and gray, looking as if it would rain soon. _How fitting_, he thought sarcastically.

As they arrived, Tamaki sat up in his seat, feeling the vehicle come to a stop.

Once the two were inside, they were hit with silence, and those who were talking were doing so quietly. From a distance, Tamaki saw the casket, and a slight hint at Haruhi's face. He looked away.

A few neighbors were there, people who'd known the Fujiokas well, some talking to Ryoji, who would laugh shakily every once in a while to keep from crying. He spotted some of the girls from the school scattered about in their fancy black outfits, even one who had her face in her hands, crying quietly, a few other girls comforting her on each side of her where she was sitting on a couch.

Tamaki silently walked up Ryoji.

"Hello, Mister Fujioka." He said softly, making the man turn around. Tamaki was put off for a moment at the sight of Ranka looking like a regular man, but adjusted after a moment.

"O-Oh, Tamaki-kun. Hello." He said unevenly.

Tamaki forced himself to smile lightly. "You look very nice." He said.

"Thank you..." He said, not meaning to sound so distant. Tamaki nodded, "I hope you've been feeling a bit better. I know it's hard..." He said, his smile faltering for a moment.

"Y-Yeah." Said Ryoji, and he didn't say much else. It was strange to talk to Tamaki now, after the way the two of them used to be. The comical fights they had, all of that. Now, everything really was different.

"Tamaki." He said, jerking him out of his daze.

"Yes?"

"...Thank you for taking care of her." He said, catching Tamaki off guard. Huh?

"You cared a lot for her, I could always see that, even through your loud obnoxiousness. You don't know... how much it meant to me to see her so happy."

Tamaki blinked. He didn't exactly understand.

"Happy?" He said, unable to think of anything else. Ryoji laughed softly, his voice shaky.

"You all may not have realized it, since she hid it so well... But through her frustration, feigning irritation and annoyance with all of your crazy activities, I could see it in her everyday she came home... She was brighter than I'd ever seen her before Kotoko died."

Tamaki's eyes had widened subtly as he was speaking. They filled with tears. He stopped staring, covering his mouth with one hand, laughing a bit, more to keep from breaking out in tears.

"I-I'm sorry, Ranka..." He said, wiping his eyes and trying to hold himself together. Ryoji shook his head.

"No... I know. I want you to know how grateful I am to you and that entire club of yours for bringing real joy back into her life, if only for a short while. Thank you... so much..." His voice cracked.

Tamaki's mind reeled. God, he was such an idiot. Even through all this, he still couldn't see how much the club meant to not only Haruhi but her father as well.

"S-She was happy, wasn't she..." He said quietly, closing his eyes, brow furrowing as he covered his mouth.

"Tamaki." Ryoji said, coming close and pulling the boy into him.

Haruhi stood with her arms hanging at her sides, staring at the scene before her.

"Dad..." She said quietly, all sadness suppressed inside her. Lately, she found herself unable to even cry anymore.

So this was her funeral. She guessed everyone would want to get the chance to see their own funeral. But actually, she didn't really care to see it. There was no where else to go at this point. There was no where she could go except for follow the people she used to know, nothing she could do but sit and watch them as they continued on with their lives. Sure, they would grieve for her for a while. But after that while, things would change. They would stop thinking about her constantly. They would go on with their lives whether they wanted to or not, and soon, no one would cry for her anymore. She wouldn't be able to interact with them, or anyone, for that matter.

_What if I never get out of here?_

Haruhi looked down at the floor, wrapping her arms around herself lightly. She felt cold, and there was nothing she could do to warm herself. She felt like crying, but couldn't even do that. She wanted to go back to her life, but she had died. There was no going back... There was nothing she could do...

This wasn't her life anymore. She didn't know these people anymore. These people were grieving for the dead body in the casket. That wasn't her. She was just an imprint of what used to be the sixteen year old high-schooler, Haruhi Fujioka...

_"Haruhi."_

She lifted her eyes, looking around slowly. What was that?

_"Haruhi, I'm over here." _

It was behind her. She turned around quickly, and...

And...

What...

_"It's been too long..."_

Her eyes widened severely.

"_M... Mom...?_"


	15. Chapter 15

_**Garugamafushu: There are many reasons why none of that can happen besides the fact that it's extremely, extremely cheesy. Bodies are prepared for funerals; Their eyes are sewed shut, along with their mouths, to make them look presentable and not fall all over the place, and there's a chemical put in them to slow the decomposing. So for Haruhi to go back into that body would be suicide after death. Also, I already have the whole thing planned out, and I won't be taking suggestions. Thank you for the thought, though.**_

_**Also; Forgive me but updates may take longer from now on. My grades in school have been dropping and for me to be on more to update I need to get them up. I'm sorry.**_

_**Here's the next chapter, though. Hope you all like it.**_

* * *

Haruhi's arms dropped to her sides, hanging limply once again. Her breath caught and her eyes were wider than ever, her face slightly tinted pink, her eyes beginning to shine and her vision blurred. She blinked rapidly to clear it up, and she could only stare.

_"I'm so sorry that I had to wait until now... but I had to wait until you were ready."_

Haruhi hadn't a clue as to what that meant.

But she didn't care.

_"Mom!" _She cried out, running to her, almost jumping. Her mother held out her own arms, taking Haruhi in when she embraced her around the waist. She closed her eyes, petting Haruhi's hair.

_"Shhh..." _She hushed her crying, a soft smile on her face. Haruhi shook, sobbing into her mother's chest, hugging her tight.

Kotoko looked just as Haruhi did- she had her hair, the shape of a female body. She was glowing brighter than Haruhi had ever even come close to, but slowly, Haruhi's glow was growing as well. Slowly.

_"Haruhi... look at me."_ she said softly, tilting Haruhi's chin up with her hand. She pushed her bangs back, kissing her forehead, as Haruhi tried to hold herself together, but was failing miserably.

_"You've grown up so beautifully... I'm so sorry, Haruhi... That it had to end like this for you. You had so much ahead of you..."_

She was here. She was here. She was _here_. Haruhi shook slightly, trying to get a hold on reality... if any of this even was reality.

_Mom..._

She hugged her tighter. She didn't remember feeling so euphoric and so miserable at once ever in her life.

Haruhi swallowed her sobs, trying to calm down.

"_I... I looked for you... I wanted... I thought we would... be together..."_

_"We are together. And we'll always be, Haruhi..." _Suddenly, Kotoko got a sad look on her face through her smile. Haruhi continued to look up to her and noticed this.

_"W-What's wrong?"_ She struggled to get her voice back, trying to get a grip and focus.

_"Haruhi... I'm not entirely sure if you're ready for this just yet..."_

Ready for... what? She didn't respond.

_"I can feel it in you... Even though I'm here, you're still holding onto the life you left behind..." _

Haruhi didn't know what that meant, but she had a bad feeling about it.

_"What.. What do you mean?" _She's controlled her crying at this point, though her face still showed signs of her tears.

_"I can't take you with me unless you let go, Haruhi."_

Her eyes widened with this statement. She thought... She thought she'd already let go.

But glancing behind her, she caught sight of Tamaki, kneeling beside her casket, looking into her lifeless face. He set his hand on hers, closing his eyes and leaning over slightly. Tears ran down his face, and he leaned his forehead in his hand, shaking.

Her heart broke. She felt like going to him and comforting him, and waking up right then and there in that casket to tell him she was back...

So maybe she hadn't let go just yet.

Haruhi looked back up to her mother. Kotoko continued to look down to her, smiling sadly.

"_I..._" Haruhi started, looking down.

"_Haruhi, I know. It's going to be hard. I went through the same thing you did when I passed on incompletely. I stayed with you and Ryo for longer than I can remember,, and I didn't have anyone to guide me. I had to cope and let go all on my own, but when I did, I was much happier... Don't you see, Haruhi? Look at me."_

Haruhi looked up.

_"My light grew and grew, and before I knew it... I was there."_

_"W-Where?"_

_"That's something you'll have to see for yourself, Haruhi. All you have to do is let go of this life. Let go of the people you once knew on this Earth. Because someday, they'll join you. You won't have to separate from the ones you love forever... You have no idea how happy and sorrowful it makes me to see you join me now. Though you had so much to offer to the world, you'll be happier where we're going."_

Haruhi had to stop and think for a long while after. She... didn't know how to react. Let go? But...

She glanced behind her.

_Hikaru?_

Now kneeling beside Haruhi's casket on the small bench made for such was one of the red-headed twins, this one just so happening to be Hikaru. He looked down into her face, his hands held on the edge. She could only see the side of his face slightly. He lifted his hand, which was shaking more by the second, moving towards her face. But before he got the chance to touch her, his arm recoiled to his chest and he stiffened. His head sunk, and he brought his hand to his forehead, leaning his head in it, shaking severely. He was crying. Kaoru came up behind him, wrapping his arms around him, crying as well, but able to keep himself under control more than Hikaru.

Haruhi had to look away.

How was she supposed to let go? _Look _at them. They were... miserable. She had no idea how much of an imprint she could leave in so many peoples lives... What would happen to the twins? Would they shrink back down into their own world? What about Tamaki? Would he ever go back to his normal, proud self? What about Hunny? Would he ever be as cheerful and open to those around him again? What about the club? The girls? Her father?

She stopped.

Her mind was reeling, she couldn't do it... She couldn't let them go...

_"Haruhi?"_

She was jerked back to reality. Her mother looked down to her, her smile gone, looking concerned.

_"I... can't..."_

_"What?"_

_"I can't go..."_

_"Haruhi."_

_"N-No... Mom..."_

Kotoko put her hands on her daughters shoulders.

_"Haruhi... Please, don't..." _Her voice quivered slightly.

_"I can't go!" _

Kotoko's eyes widened, and she stumbled back a small distance, her grip on Haruhi broken. She held her breath for a moment, but let it out. A look of complete and utter disappointment washed over her face. She closed her eyes, her brow furrowing.

_"I see..."_ She started, letting her hands fall to her sides. _"...You were always such a stubborn girl, Haruhi. But you're determined... it's one of the things about you I love most."_

Haruhi was confused. What sort of relevance could this have to what was happening? She was so conflicted. She was absolutely elated to see her mother again. She _really _was. But... with all she'd been through? She couldn't bring herself to just leave the people she'd come to hold so dear to her heart. Here she was, standing in front of her deceased mother, having passed away not four weeks ago. She'd found out that after you die, there really was something beyond. And it wasn't heaven. It was just the opposite... Or maybe she hadn't made it there yet...

_"Haruhi. I'm not allowed to do what I'm about to."_

Haruhi blinked.

_"Are you... absolutely sure... that you don't want to leave this world yet..." _Kotoko's voice quivered, her eyes still closed. But her daughter's happiness was more important to her than keeping her away from a life that held so much for her...

_"I can't let them go... I-I wasn't ready to die..."_

_"Alright." _Kotoko opened her eyes, looking to Haruhi with a sad smile. She came nearer to her, putting her hands on her shoulders and pulling her into embrace. Both of their lights began to shine brighter.

_"I promise you, Haruhi... We'll meet again."_

Haruhi's eyes widened as she felt something unidentifiable rising in her chest. Suddenly all of any weight she felt was lifted from her shoulders.

And suddenly, there was nothing but black.


	16. Chapter 16

"Mm..." a small sound escaped Haruhi. Her eye lids felt heavy. She felt stiff. She tried opening her eyes, and white light flooded through to her vision as she opened them further. That white light faded into the haziness of her surroundings, and she couldn't tell where she was. Familiar sounds, mixed voices of a mostly... female crowd? She blinked rapidly, suddenly aware of her position. Her arms used as a pillow for her head, leaning on a round table, sitting in a very familiar feeling chair.

"Nn..." She sat up, rubbing her sleep-filled eyes until she could see around her. She let her hands drop to her lap, and blinked, looking around.

_The club room?_

Haruhi... didn't remember falling asleep. And with all this noise... Jeez, she guessed she must have been pretty out of it.

With a short glance up, she was greeted by the smiling face of one of her regulars.

"Ah!" She flinched, making the girl giggle.

"You look so cute when you're asleep, Haruhi." She said in a chipper tone, standing up straight. Haruhi turned around fully in her chair, seeing the other two girls by her side. They piped in.

"Were you really so tired?" One of them said, tilting her head.

"Ah... Sorry, ladies. It was impolite of me to fall asleep on you." She said apologetically with a bit of a laugh in her voice. The girls faces went pink in delight at her smile.

"It's okay!"

"We just got here, anyway!"

"Yeah, it was rude of us to wake you up!"

Haruhi laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. Huh. She felt so strange. What day was it again? That must have been some nap to make her forget... what day...

She paused.

_Wait._

Something... felt very wrong here. She couldn't put her finger on it, but something just felt... _off_.

Her face must have looked weird just then, because the girls were looking at her funny.

"What's wrong, Haruhi?"

"You look like you just saw a ghost!"

Haruhi blinked, looking up at them.

She stood, "Ah... No, I'm fine. It's okay, I guess I'm just kinda out of it from sleeping in the middle of the day like that. If you don't mind, ladies, I think I'll wash up a bit. I'd like to look my best for you."

The girls blushed in their cute little way once more, nodding rapidly. Haruhi gave a polite smile, waving to them as she made her way to the rest room. Her smile disappeared when she was out of sight, and she looked down to the floor as she walked, a very puzzled look on her face. What was wrong with her today? It felt like... She shouldn't be here, for some reason.

Ach, that was silly, though. _It must be nothing_, she thought. Maybe she'd had a weird dream or something. Not that she could remember.

"Haaaaaaruhiiiiii~!"

Oh, god.

"Haruhi~! Where are you going off all by yourself?! Daddy wants to show you something!"

Haruhi sighed, turning around. She was met by the wide, seemingly sparkling purplish-blue eyes of a tall blonde male, huge smile plastered on his face, holding some sort of magazine. He darted up to her, looking very excited.

"I'm going to the wash room, leave me alone for five minutes." She said irritably, groaning.

"But Haruhi, look!" He flung out the magazine in her face, showing her a picture of two Americans dressed up all fancy, one in a sort of bluish, sparkling dress, and the other in a prince-like outfit. They looked to each other lovingly, looking happier than ever. There was a castle of some sort behind them.

The caption at the top read,

'Cinderella.'

"...What is this?" She said, blinking, pushing it away from so close to her face with one hand.

"Isn't it obvious?! You and I are going to dress up as Cinderella and her prince charming for the next cosplay!"

"But what about everyone else?" She asked, raising and eyebrow.

"They'll all be the other princes from kingdoms that didn't find their Cinderella!"

"...But I thought cosplay was a group thing."

"Oh, Haruhi, you're going to look so cute in your gown~!"

"Why am I the only one who has to dress as a girl?!"

"Because you're the cutest!"

"You two are making a scene." A voice cut into their bickering, making them both turn around. Standing up straight was Kyoya, holding his black book at his side, pushing up his glasses up on his nose and then letting his hand fall to his side.

"You still have guests waiting, so if you wouldn't mind, please go tend to them now." He smiled, but his tone said _death_. Shivers ran down Tamaki's spine and he straightened, putting his hand to his forehead in solute.

"Yes, sir!" He said, marching off in the other direction.

Haruhi sighed, slouching a bit. In all this idiocy she hadn't even had the chance to go to the rest room... She nodded to Kyoya, following after Tamaki. She looked fine as is, any... way...

There is was again. That strange feeling. She felt weird being here now, and she couldn't figure out why. Nothing was different. Nothinghad changed. It was all just... normal. She had a sense of misplacement. Like she shouldn't be here right now in this scene, like she was disturbing something... Like...

Haruhi stopped in her tracks abruptly, making Tamaki turn around to look at her when he noticed she wasn't following anymore. He blinked, tilting his head slightly.

"Something wrong, Haruhi?" He asked.

"Wh..." She was about to speak, but found herself at a loss for words. Slowly, memories were fading in and out. Memories? She lost focus on anything she had been doing prior, and she blinked rapidly, eventually just closing her eyes. A headache was coming on.

"Ah..." She put her hand to her head, stumbling backwards a bit.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki exclaimed, catching her shoulders in his hands. A look of concern washed over his face. "Haruhi, what's wrong? Do you feel faint?" Tamaki got worried easily, especially when it came to Haruhi.

"I..." Haruhi tried to speak again, opening her eyes to look up at him but then squeezing them shut again.

It didn't take long for the other members to gather around, their customers following behind them. Haruhi noticed, despite her current condition. Wow, it didn't take much to get everyone's attention around here.

"Boss, what's wrong?" The twins said in unison, blinking together.

"Something's wrong with Haruhi... K-Kyoya, call a doctor!" He panicked, looking down to Haruhi. Kyoya came closer, pulling his phone out and flipping it open.

"N-No, I'm... I'm fine..." Haruhi forced herself to say. Kyoya looked up from his phone.

Haruhi's eyes opened slowly.

_I promise you, Haruhi._

"Ah..."

_We'll meet again._

Her eyes widened. Suddenly she wasn't so unaware of why she felt so strange.

It... was her. Mom... had returned Haruhi to a life... where she'd never gotten sick... never gone to the hospital... She'd _changed _reality. R...Right? That's what happened, right? She wasn't just insane, right...?

No. It was all real. It had to be. It was too clear and distinct in her mind to have been a dream. That _all _happened. ALS... The Hospital... Tama...ki...

Haruhi's breath caught. She looked slowly up to Tamaki, seeing the look of worry on his face.

_Tamaki._

Her face turned a light shade of pink. He could see her. Of course he could see her. Because she was _alive_.

"T-Tamaki!" She called out, making him blink rapidly at the sudden outburst and the way she dropped the honorific. He noticed the tears building up in her eyes.

"Haruhi, wha-"

He was cut off, no longer able to speak. His eyes widened to the extreme, and he stared at what was now _right _in front of him.

He felt Haruhi's lips against his, her arms around his neck, her body leaning against his. For a moment the only thing her felt was complete and utter shock and confusion. But as that passed, and he realized what was happening, his face slowly but surely turned a deep shade of red.

The girls in the background squealed loudly in absolute delight, squirming. The twins blinked rapidly, leaning forward, eyes wide. Hunny squeezed Usa-chan, his eyes wide, letting out a little audible gasp. Mori stood behind him, not reacting much, but even Kyoya's eye brows shot up.

Tamaki nearly had a heart attack. He flailed his arms, leaping back a mile, breaking Haruhi's embrace, landing against the wall. He covered his mouth with both hands, eyes still wide, face burning bright. He was too shocked and confused and absolutely flustered to speak.

"Woah!" The twins said in unison, looking at Haruhi questioningly.

"...How very out of character..." Kyoya said under his breath. He knew that those two liked each other and were oblivious to it, but he could never have predicted this...

"Ahh!" Hunny made a breathy little gasp, standing up on his tiptoes for a moment. "Tama-chan got kissed by Haru-chan!" He stated the obvious, but now it had been announced officially.

Haruhi stood still where she'd been leapt away from, arms hanging at her sides almost limply. Her face was pink, tears still in her eyes, a little smile on her face. The girls went on and on in jumbled voices about how Haruhi had finally revealed his secret love to Tamaki, making up strange scenarios on how it could have happened and shouting 'Moe!'

In normal circumstances, Haruhi would also be blushing madly, embarrassed beyond belief at what she had just done and wondering why she had even done it in the first place.

But these weren't normal circumstances.

Everyone here was going on with their normal lives. She wasn't sick. She hadn't gone to the hospital. She hadn't died. She was the only one that remembered. Her mother had done this all for her... She'd given up her own desire to be with her daughter to give Haruhi a happy rest of her life, even if it did mean breaking the rules. She wondered what kind of rules there were or who made them, but couldn't think about that right now.

_Thank you..._

The bustle around her interrupted her sentiment and she really needed to get on with it.

If none of the past she remembered ever happened, Tamaki had never realized his feelings for her. And she had just done it for him.

Well, kind of.

Tamaki didn't know what to do. He felt his face burning and wanted to jump out the window, run for the hills and never come back ever again. It wasn't that he hated Haruhi. Nononono. Haruhi was his precious little girl! Uhm.. wait. It was normal for daddies to kiss their daughters, right? Right? Maybe not like that, but, uh, you know, uh... Circumstances! Ah, no. Nononono. Okay. Breath. In, out. In, out. Inoutinoutinoutinout. Okay, not helping. Ah... speak!

"U-U-Uh, w-what, uh..."

Stupid! Those weren't words! Form _words_!

"W-What..."

_Auuugh!_

"Tamaki..."

The entire room went silent, which kind of shocked Haruhi, because she intended for her voice to be quiet. Forget the dramatic moment for a minute- was this supposed to be a romantic comedy? Because this sure didn't feel like normal life that much anymore. Then again, neither did the past five weeks that had been erased. Ah, whatever.

Tamaki had been looking down at the floor, still very much ruby, when he heard her voice. He looked up, now only covering his mouth with only one hand. She walked up to him, in full view of everyone around, surprised at her own boldness. Coming back from the dead really does change a person, huh?

Now fully in front of him, she looked up to him, with her same small smile.

"...I..." When she tried to speak, though, she found her voice was quivering. The tears she hadn't realized were building up spilled, making Tamaki come out of his flurry of confusion and fluster. He let his hand drop to his side as he looked down to her, waiting for her to speak... Why... Why was she crying? She looked down slightly, hiding her eyes.

"I... I missed you so much..."

He blinked.

Without another word, Haruhi embraced him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She was much shorter than him, so this was about where she could reach without going up on her tiptoes. Tamaki flinched at the sudden touch, and suddenly, he felt himself warm all over. A light shade of pink on his cheeks, looking down at the top of her head. She shook.

At this point he didn't care that he didn't understand what was going on. Here Haruhi was... _Crying_. He'd seen her do that but once in his life... She was acting so different...

He wrapped his arms around her form.

The girls erupted in a fit of cheers, as if they had been waiting quietly for the climax of a movie. The boys looked at each other, blinking, still very confused. What just happened?

All except for Kyoya, who stood to the side, smirking very lightly.

Hm, what an unexpected turn of events.

He pushed a small button on a remote on the table nearby inconspicuously, snapping pictures with hidden cameras, trained on them. This would make for a rather interesting addition in the upcoming photo books.

* * *

_**This is not the last chapter. **_

_**...-sigh-  
**_

_**Sorry. I'm so busy lately. Remember when I said 'not busy at all?' Well, that changed quickly.**_

_**But forget about that. It doesn't concern you lovelies~  
**_

_**Please let me know if you liked this turn out. I was planning to end this story differently than this, but I couldn't bring myself to write something so depressing and thought you would like this better. Oh, but this isn't the ending, really. There will be more chapters, I'm just saying if I had gone with a different scenario the ending would have been right here.  
**_

_**...blahblahblah.  
**_

_**ANYWHO. Review? I like those things. Lots. Thanksbye.  
**_

_**Garugamafushu: No. Don't call me 'Olibeth-chan.' Ever. Please. If you're going to call me anything, call me Olivia. Just Olivia. Also, the talking ends here unless you get an account, because I can't keep replying to you in authors note. From now on please don't review unless you have something to say about the story itself, okay? Sorry if I sound kind of rude, but I'm done with doing this back and forth, sorry, I'm just really irritable right now. Things haven't been going too great out in the real world.  
**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**So, here it is. I know it might sound hard to believe, but I have a hard time writing... uh, sap. But that's really what this entire story was. I guess it's just the 'romance' part I have a hard time with. Sorry if this is extremely corny. I tried my best. **_

**_Thanks._**

_**-Olivia**_

* * *

The other hosts within the room at that... particular moment earlier in the day were a bit uncomfortable. Most of them, anyway. Hikaru had just stared with an eye twitch for a while, sort of irritated for a reason he either couldn't figure out or didn't want to admit to himself. Kaoru was blinking rapidly most of the time, looking as if he wanted to ask but couldn't find the words to do so. Hunny had tried to run up to them, congratulating them and asking why, why, why? But before he could do that, Mori had caught him by his collar and shook his head. Hunny understood. Kyoya had taken his laptop and left the room without anyone noticing quite early on.

Now, as evening approached, and the girls had cleared out, all of whom were left were Haruhi, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori, and Hunny. Kaoru was about to ask when he recoiled and shut his mouth, tugging on a distracted Hikaru as if to say it was time to leave. Hunny and Mori were heading out together without saying anything. This was... a rather confusing situation for everyone involved, except Haruhi. And you'd think everyone would be completely and totally freaking out to the absolute extreme, but for some reason, things just weren't working out that way. (Excluding the girls, of course.)

Tamaki and Haruhi didn't appear to be going anywhere, and now, they were finally alone. Tamaki was standing by the window, Haruhi beside him. He didn't quite know what to do with himself- he was just as confused and uncomfortable as everyone else, and Haruhi was being rather cryptic as she sort of gazed out the window at the slowly setting sun. He felt as if she would just kind of vanish if he tried to go anywhere. He would blush lightly whenever he looked over to her occasionally and then quickly back to the window. He didn't want to break whatever sentimental mood she might be trying to set, but...

"...Ah, H-Haruhi?" He said quietly, trying his hardest not to stutter. Inside, he was still having after affects and possibly another mini heart attack. Haruhi looked down a bit before looking up to him, her eyes big and brown as always, but she felt like a different person. She caught the look on Tamaki's face, and it painted a small smile on her face. Suddenly she didn't care if this situation was overly dramatic. In all honesty, she was the happiest she'd ever felt right now- confident, too. Maybe just a bit shy. After all, she had done something the person which she'd dubbed 'old Haruhi' would disapprove of and die of embarrassment from.

"I'm sorry, Senpai... I'm just not sure how to tell you what I'm sure you're wondering..." She said, looking back towards the window. "You'll probably think I'm crazy."

Again, Tamaki's awkward feelings melted away rather quickly when she spoke. He tilted his head slightly. "No, I won't, I promise. What's wrong? You know you can tell me, Haruhi." He said, putting his hand on her shoulder, trying to sound understanding. Though, he didn't understand at all. It was... all very confusing, actually. Tamaki wasn't ready for this. He was an idiot, for Pete's sake. He hadn't grown out of that yet, but it seemed like what Haruhi had done and the way she was acting had knocked at least some sense into him.

Haruhi's chest warmed and her heart beat a bit faster as he touched her. Jeez... so this was what it was like? She scolded herself and felt silly for feeling the way she did. She even laughed out loud softly as she looked up to him, which seemed to confuse him even more. As she looked at him, her eyes stung with tears. She shook her head, looking down, trying to hide it.

"I just... It's like, I haven't seen you for an eternity. I know it doesn't make any sense, and it still wouldn't even if I told you why. Being away from you, and everyone... It made me realize how much I love all of you." Her voice was shaky as she decided to just say whatever she thought, not caring anymore.

Tamaki's expression softened as he just listened. Not completely understanding, but believing what she said.

"I love being in the Host Club. I thought I hated it, it was an obligation, but it's not. It's not..." Her voice got softer and she tried to hide her face, feeling silly for crying like this in front of Tamaki. She knew how unlike herself this must seem, but she had a different definition of 'self' now.

Tamaki's lips parted slightly, and he felt himself shift somehow. He felt... strange. Almost... the same way Haruhi was, if he had interpreted it correctly. As if he had lost her. A sort of pain took his chest, but it lifted as he kept his gaze on her. What... was going on?

"Haruhi..." he said quietly, stepping closer to her.

_What are you doing. Stop it. Don't. No._

His brain scolded him, but he ignored it.

He put both hands on her shoulders now, turning her to face him. She kept her head down, so he took one hand and tilted her chin up so she would look at him. Her eyes were filled with tears, and suddenly he was seeing her much differently.

The sun was low in the sky and it shone on both of them, casting long shadows on the ground, but illuminating their faces with golden light. Being the drama queen he was, Tamaki would probably be making a movie scene out of this intentionally if it were with one of his customers. But... this was Haruhi. And he couldn't quite recognize the emotion he was feeling as he leaned in closer to her.

Haruhi's eyes were wide to keep the tears from spilling, and her lips were parted a bit. Her breathing slowed as Tamaki moved in on her. Oh, great. Here we go with the dramatization, again. But, you know... She didn't mind too much right at this moment.

Though Tamaki was the one that started it, he drowned when the gap between them was closed. He _had _kissed girls before. Quite a few, actually- he was a host, after all. But... that was his job. It was something he was used to, he'd never had any real feelings for those girls. Sure, he _liked_ them, they were all very pretty and he wouldn't be so cruel as to completely disregard their affections towards him, but...

He was rambling in his head. The fact was, this was his first kiss, because this was with Haruhi, a girl he was quite sure he... _loved_.

Loved?

Of course.

So that's what this feeling was.

Bingo, lord oblivion.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Look at all that fluff. I think I might be sick. x_x_**

**_Bluh. I'm sorry this took so long, I got writers block. It's short, but here it is. Hope I did a good enough job. Once again, not over yet. I'll drag it out for a bit longer._**

_**Please enjoy.**_

**_-Olivia_**

* * *

Haruhi tried not to go limp. She was sure she was turning into one of the girls. They still had that extra uniform, right? She didn't want this to end.

For two reasons.

One: What was happening and why was it warmer than anything she'd ever felt before?

Two: She was blushing madly and stopping would mean looking at each other and that meant talking, which led to awkward.

Tamaki was keeping pretty calm- after all, he was a natural at this. Kind of. Well, uh, he thought he was. But now that he thought about it, he'd never done this before. Oh. Was it hot in here...? He was much taller than her, and so leaning down a bit to reach her. He cupped her face in his hands, and after a moment she lifted her hands, clutching at his arms bend. They leaned into each other a bit.

Eventually it was time to come up for air. Tamaki pulled away lightly, keeping his eyes closed, leaning his forehead against hers, both hands on her face while hers held at the bend of his elbows. Both of them were very red, just slightly out of breath. Neither of them had been expecting it to go that far, and hearts were beating fast. Tamaki's eyes opened, half-lidded as he looked a her. For a moment he felt a twinge of guilt, like he'd taken advantage of Haruhi. But the warmth inside him right now was pushing that to the back of his mind, and he was completely tranced. How had things changed so fast?

Tamaki's face was still tinted, but not as extreme as Haruhi's. Her arms went limp and dropped at her sides, hanging there. Her hair hid her eyes and her face felt warm on Tamaki's hands. Her lips were parted slightly, her quiet breath unsteady and short. Tamaki moved his hands away slowly, standing up straight, but neither of them said a word. Haruhi tried not to be too obvious, but she was trembling a bit. She felt so strange, and it scared her. She'd never known she could feel this way, she'd always been so... indifferent... Having these feelings for someone was one thing, pursuing them was another...

"Haruhi, you're trembling..." Came his soft voice, brushing her cheek lightly with the back of his hand. When she didn't say anything, he tilted his head a bit, worried. Oh, no, he must have done something wrong. He _had_ taken advantage of her and now she was upset. _Ah_, what was he going to do? He'd hurt Haruhi! He'd never forgive himself! THE HORR-

_Mm, that's warm..._

Tamaki's trail of thoughts were cut off and yet another wave of warmth coursed through his body as he felt her small arms wrapping around his waist where she reached at his height. The mind fuzzies were back again... He engulfed her in his own embrace, smile crossing his face without his permission, eyes closing. He could stay this way forever.

The sun began to set.

Haruhi opened the door to her apartment as quietly as she possibly could, closing it the same way. She leaned against the door once it was shut, disarming her bag and letting it drop as she slid to the floor slowly, eyes closing. She took in the scent of her own home, smile forming.

_Home._

It felt as if she'd been gone for ten years, and was just returning... She scolded herself for staying out so late, but...

Her face tinted pink. A-Ah, let's not think about that right now.

On other note, her father was probably worried sick about her. She was almost disappointed in herself that she hadn't gone straight home with the revelation of her renewed lively hood. She missed him so much...

"HARUHIIIII!"

Her smile spread wider. It'd been so long since she'd heard that.

"Oh, _you're home, Haruhi~!_" Ranka shouted in dramatics, diving at her as she sat on the floor in the door way. He hugged her tightly, nearly knocking the air out of her. Instead of pushing him off like she usually used to, she hugged him back, disregarding the fact that she could hardly breath.

"Hi, Dad." She said softly, smiling. He pulled away enough to look at her in the eyes.

"Where have you been?! Daddy was _so_ _worried _about you! Are you hurt? Are you in pain? _Do you have any emotionally traumatic scars?!_"

Haruhi laughed out loud, joyed and guilted by his dramatic worry for her. She felt bad for making him worry so much, but that was overcome by the complete euphoria at being with him, the _real _him, once again.

"I'm fine, Dad, really. Club activities just got extended for a while. I'm sorry, I should have called." Well... it wasn't a complete lie. But she couldn't very well tell him what had really happened, she'd probably be attending Tamaki's funeral sooner than later if she did that... Ach, she didn't even want to think about funerals, even if it was only in satire.

"I'm so glad you're alive!" He cried, diving in on her again. She laughed, hugging him back.

_Me too._


	19. Mother

**_I'm so sorry. This took forever. But here it is, ending. I hope you all liked this, I tried best I could to make it worth reading. Thanks for sticking to it. I'll be writing more in the future._**

**_-Olivia_**

* * *

There are many existing stories, beliefs about what the stars in the sky are made of. One standing, is that they're angels. Souls that have left the physical world and joined the lights that shine brightest in the dark. And though within cities, they get dimmed by artificial lights and begin to look nearly non-existent, they never go away. Sometimes, when the sky is clear at night, you can see a scarce many scattered about.

As Haruhi approached her bedroom window, she turned her eyes upward at the darkness outside. She'd just finished watching a movie with Dad, and now it was getting late. Spending time with him had become somehow more precious a thing to her than before. So as she looked up at the darkness, she wore a light-hearted smile that faded into one more sentimental and thoughtful. As always, it was mostly a blank, blue-black solid. But she never took the time to really look at the night sky, and now, as she did, she could see those few stars scattered around.

She didn't see any that stood out. Maybe she was expecting too. Maybe she was looking for some kind of closure from her mother after all that she'd done for her. Haruhi still couldn't help but wonder what she meant. What did she mean, she wasn't allowed? Had she broken some kind of angel law, or something...? Did that kind of thing even exist?

Haruhi sighed, and then laughed at herself for doing so. She felt like she was in the ending of some kind of heart-warming movie, or something. But that was to be expected, after all that had happened, she guessed. She leaned her head in her hands on the window sill, and just kept staring up. Haruhi had always spoken to her mother. When she felt alone, or just to update her on what was going on in life... She's always wondered if Mom could really hear her, and now, she knew she could, and that reassurance was more than she could ever ask for.

As she looked upwards, her eyes caught on one particular star that seemed to be getting brighter. Her smile got brighter, also. She hadn't been expecting anything to actually happen, but she was sure this wasn't just coincidence.

The star fell. It shot across the sky in a quick flash that was unnoticeable unless you were looking. And it was gone. Haruhi just kept staring at that one spot. She wondered if maybe, that was her. And if it was, what had just happened. She wondered if it meant anything.

She guessed she'd never know.


End file.
